1. Yeah, this guy’s training must be going very, very well.
We finally have an answer to who would win in a foot race between Superman and The Flash! It’s Rob!
2. Sure, we’ve all been there, right?
Look, it’s one thing to promote your art and/or really get into it, but I don’t think I’m alone when I say this is a bit much.
3. “If you like minions so much, why don’t you marry ’em?” And she was like, “okay!”
Why spend a ton of money on a tux when this will do just fine, right?
4. Oh yeah, ’cause that’s the kind of pep talk everyone needs.
I want to believe this guy had good intentions, but wow. This is the yellow Starburst of online rants.
5. Uh huh, she seems like the friendliest person out there, for sure.
Until you see the status posted just three minutes before this little quiz. Sorry, girl, but you scary!
6. I’m shook! This can’t be real, can it?!
Are people actually doing this? It could be some horrible prank, but I know some people with very strange tastes out there!
7. You may be a hipster, but…
…are you a “bring an entire record player and album collection to a bar so the public can see your hipsterness” kind of hipster?
8. I just don’t think it’s that easy to get away with blatant lies on Facebook, my dude.
Come on, man, you’re a good-lookin’ guy! No need to make up this B.S.
9. Can’t blame a guy for just doin’ the Dew… Wait a minute, that’s not Mountain Dew!
Not that that’s the part that actually matters, but at least get some branding right.
10. Oh, dear…
If Disney’s Bambi taught me anything, it’s that she’s playing a dangerous game here. Don’t go out into the woods during hunting season! In fact, maybe just don’t go out at all.
11. Buddy, no! You can’t just make assumptions on Facebook like that.
Okay, props to him for trying and all, but even bigger props to her for that smooth letdown. Stay friends!